A bright red "cool cup" blares this question from the top shelf of our kitchen cabinet: Are we Having Fun Yet?
We're the generation who has followed their bliss, beat the different drum, changed careers, protested, took calculated risks and made such demands for service that the generation before us called us "self-focused" and indulgent.
It appears to me, despite all these efforts, that many of us are still not having fun. We're still not as content or as successful as we want to be or as secure as we may pretend to be.
Here are six points of focus with suggestions for creating more success in areas where we may still be blocked.
Any time you blame someone else or yourself for your unhappiness, you have not yet released your past or your story. Ask in meditation, why am I hanging on to my story?
This grand game of the ego sneaks up on us all. The enlightened path is one of ease and elegance. How many times do we hear "I worked so hard I earned this!" It was Sigmund Freud who said we need balance of eight hours sleep, eight hours work, and eight hours play. How many of us use our leisure in a true sense of play? How many of us work more than eight hours daily?
Remedy: Ask for what you want. Write clear goals with a subject, noun and verb to ask for what your heart desires. Create goals for your work, your social life, your health, your dreams. Ask, ask, ask God/
This grand game of ego trips us up every time. This game of the ego hides in the pockets of the subconscious. "Who me? Of course I don't feel superior to you." It says as it struts off feeling better than others in our work place. How many times have you avoided attending a networking meeting or event for fear of not being good enough?
Remedy: See the light of Mother/Father God in everyone you meet. We all have shadow issues around us and some have worked to make their light brighter. But no one is separate from the whole light of creation. With the vigilance of a warrior, stay conscious of your projections upon others. Often, I pray: let this action be created with harm to no other. This beautiful prayer of protection works wonders.
This is more than an ego game. It's a prison. We all fall into this trap at one time or another. It helped me to understand that control issues are based upon fear, doubt, or feeling undeserving. This fierce need to manipulate your environment harms self and others. It blocks the flow of love and peace. When we control others and our environment, we damage others and fall into traps of self-pity, mobilizing our existence with tyranny and demands. Control freaks are terrified of love. Truly, it's a prison we all benefit by releasing.
Remedy: Stay conscious. Whenever the need to control arises, ask, what do I really want? What promise to me was broken? What dreams were lost? Is this action benefiting others as well as myself? Is it causing harm to others? Am I judging someone or myself?
This prison blocks our success and fulfillment more than any other. We heard as children that if we struggle or work hard enough or suffer enough, we'll be praised, rewarded and loved. It's a lie. To see if you are in martyr thinking, ask: Am I demanding others see what I want to be but am not yet? Am I punishing others subconsciously for my unhappiness? Sit quietly in meditation and let this "ego-I" talk to you. Give it a platform. Do love and fulfillment terrify you? Does this "personality" think you did something wrong way back when to block your dreams?
We heard as children that if we struggle or work hard enough or suffer enough, we'll be praised, rewarded and loved. It's a lie.
Remedy: Disengage martyr thinking by declaring, perhaps screaming (in meditation of course) your clear intention to love. See the martyr side of you fading away until it's a dim speck of light. Now give yourself back your power. Forgive yourself for taking the stance of martyr and let it go. Feel the new joy of living with freedom and aliveness. Please note: Martyr-
This trap differs from martyrdom in that the broken promises of live were programmed into us as children. Self-pity is an elected course, although usually an unconscious choice. Please, understand, I am sincere in knowing how much this hurts as I've been caught up in pity myself. This one truly hides in layer upon layer of that proverbial onion skin we peel away with each day of living in Earth School. Self-pity hides in pockets of victim thinking. We create our reality moment to moment. Victims hang on to their stories, they love to blame the world for their problems.
Remedy: Any time you blame someone else or yourself for your unhappiness, you have not yet released you past or your story. Ask in meditation, why am I hanging on to my story? It could be your story blocks you from being more authentic with your choices. Often, we fear letting go of the past. It defines who we are. In meditation, take the gifts from your past resurrected dreams, forgiveness, compassion, healing and ask for help in letting go. Release the seven "no's" in meditation. Ask your guides or higher self to be with you and demand release from the pain of pity. Stay conscious of mobilizing your pain, your struggles, your history.
This final step in letting go of blocks to success is the easiest. If you scan the horizons based on the traps of struggle, arrogance, control, martyr, self-pity, all the rest leads to the sixth step: change. Think of your reaction when you see a niece or nephew you haven't seen for a while at a holiday function. You may remark on how much they've grown. The same holds true for our growth. Change is instantaneous when we recognize our patterns or traps or prisons. Accept that we allowed them: forgive ourselves for allowing them into our reality; we release almost like magic into love and healing.