Alexandra Reynolds
balanceofwomanh
Dreams are spirit roads leading to contemplation… In my dream, I was standing in a crowded bus, dressed in a very expensive black leather suit and black hat. I had a lot of make-up on, which is out of character for me. There was this little girl who kept staring at me; she seemed to sense my unhappiness. It made me feel uncomfortable so I decided to get off the bus. As I got off the bus, I noticed that I had left my purse on the bus, I felt so disappointed, but there was nothing I could do, so I started walking away from the bus-stop, taking inventory of all the things in my purse that I had lost. I was so busy thinking about all the things I needed to do, cancel my credit cards, call the cell phone company to report a lost phone, that I hadn’t realized I was walking toward the ocean. The beauty of the sunset reflecting on the water comforted me and the sound of the waves “awakened” me.
In retrospect I realized that wearing an expensive black leather suit and lot’s of make-up meant that I wasn’t being true to myself. I earned a decent living and I enjoyed the material possessions that a good paying job afforded me, but my life lacked purpose. In the dream, the color black represented a death and rebirth of self through what I like to call a spiritual intervention. The little girl staring at me, making me feel so uncomfortable was me as a child, reminding me of a time when I was honest with myself. As a little girl, I had not yet learned how to protect myself by developing the tunnel vision that keeps us from being honest with ourselves. Leaving my purse on the bus was a metaphor for leaving behind what I thought was valuable. Taking inventory called on me to re-evaluate what holds value in my life.
A month after having had this dream, I came to realize what effect the eternal law of motion would have in my life. The eternal law that creates motion, change, when we are lacking the power and courage to change or escape from an oppressive situation.
I remember it was a morning that everything was running smoothly, the baby-sitter was on time. I didn’t hit any red lights when making my way to my daughter’s pre-school. There were no traffic problems on the way to work, so I was early, much earlier than usual. I made it to work just in time to see the body of a twenty-eight year old man, lying on the ground after having jumped from the roof of a twelve story building.
He lay there, motionless. I noticed he still had his backpack on, and one of his shoes had fallen off. I acknowledged the color of his hair, his jacket, and all the things that had spilled out of his backpack. I knew he was looking down at his body and that he was reflecting on all his mistakes. He now had spiritual awareness. His spirit was acknowledging his gift of free will and he was now able to understand the consequences of his choice.
I was in shock. I went upstairs and sat in my cubicle sobbing and praying for him. Why? Why did he choose to end his life? What life was he trying to escape? Why did I have to witness his suicide? Why hadn’t our paths crossed so that I could have offered him my friendship?
The next day, the dirt that had splattered from the weight of his body hitting the ground had been cleaned up, but the imprint of his body was still visible. My husband searched newspapers for his story, but there was no mention of his suicide. I couldn’t believe that his life was not worth mentioning. It only made my conviction to offer his spirit light through my prayers, stronger. His death had given me a renewed passion to share the spiritual awareness that I received through my own experience with death at the age of nine.
That weekend, I drove to the ocean that had appeared in my dream, there in my serenity I contemplated my dream and the spiritual intervention that the law of motion had manifested into my life. I reflected on all the events in my life that had created my crossroad, and the need to ponder, once again, my purpose in life. Suddenly, I remembered that I too am blessed with the gift of free will; the free will to choose a life of purpose and passion. I went to work that Monday morning, and volunteered to be part of the next lay-off.
At the end of my crossroad, one filled with many life lessons, I was inspired to create a forum where I could share my spiritual awareness with anyone seeking enlightenment. An enlightenment that will inspire the higher-self to seek out a life filled with passion and purpose, without the need for a spiritual intervention.
SaturnsLady
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