Monday, February 21, 2011

How to Deal With Mean People


How to Deal With Mean People -

A Survival Guide for the Rest of Us

by April Vereen

Learning how to deal with mean people is one of the most empowering things you can do. Your self esteem, confidence level and success rate will skyrocket when you master the ability to stop the effect these people can have on your life. Ready to get started? Here's how to deal with mean people in 3 easy steps.

Step 1. Take Back Control.

Realize that no one has control over your emotional state but you. You choose how you respond to the aggression being shown to you. One of the fastest ways to stop a mean person in their tracks is to ignore their meanness or even show them kindness in return.

Mean people do what they do because they are looking for a reaction out of you. They are wanting to ruin your day or cause you to lose your cool. Showing them that they don't have the power to do that is like throwing cold water in their face and putting an immediate stop to their plan of controlling your emotional state.

Step 2. Understand The Source.

The aggression and meanness that people show has nothing to do with you. It's the emotional state that these people have chosen to portray. Just as they have no control over your emotional state, you have no control over theirs. Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for The Soul, says that we are all just extras in everyone else's play. Whatever feedback you get from someone is really about them and their issues, NOT yours.

Step 3. Have Some Safety Nets Ready.

Often, when being assaulted by a verbal aggressor, it can be hard to think of what to say. They throw you off your balance and you end getting flustered, often giving in or unable to clearly state your case. It's perfectly acceptable to have a standard comeback for these times. Things like:

"I'd like to discuss this at a different time."

"I'm sorry you feel that way"

"That's an interesting observation."

Think of some of your own so when you get in a confrontation with a mean person, you give yourself the time you need to prepare for the conversation.

Learning how to deal with mean people is a skill that will help you in so many areas of your life so be sure you learn to master it well.


1 comment:

  1. You dont need to have these people in your life either make a decission to distance yourself from these people.