Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Stuck in Grief - You and Your Loved One Who Passed Over


Stuck in Grief - You and Your Loved One Who Passed Over

by Wendy A


Grief is yours to own, and no one will ever expect you to forget your grief. Grief cannot just be cured or dismissed, as the hurt surrounding grief is there because of your connection with the loved one you lost.

Grief can keep time standing still, and it is very common for people to not want to move through life anymore. Grief can make us want to remain close to the point in time of the grief, through maintaining the same surroundings, locations, routines and rituals.

Grief is loss. Loss of being able to see and interact with your loved one, loss of touch, loss of sharing of emotions, and loss of control over your own life. Grief is viewed as a permanent loss of connection with your loved one.

For most people, time, faith, other people, and their own personal journey helps them eventually cope with their grief and gradually move back into the flow of life.

But for some, and perhaps you feel this way too, it is just not possible to carry on as you were before the event or time that caused your grief. Grief and loss changed everything. You might be pretending to cope, or just not even caring, and both of those are very normal too.

But have you thought about your loved one you lost? In the laws of the universe there is a saying:
"As we are here, as we are there". Our journeys survive death, and just as we were here, so we are there when we pass over. There is still much to participate in, things to do, and personal journeys for our passed over loved ones to discover.

Death is not final; it only brings about loss of communication between yourself and your loved one. You lose the communication through site, touch, smell and hearing with your loved one due to the deep sense of loss and grief that overwhelms you. You wish for all these things to happen once more, to see, feel, listen and smell your loved one's comforting presence.

But what about how your loved one is feeling? They are now discovering other senses that we only learn about when we pass over. What doesn't change is the strong bonds of love you both shared. For your loved one that means sadness too at not being able to comfort you as you grieve, or to communicate with you that they are ok.

Your grief will keep them close, worried and concerned for your welfare, but as in life this is not good for those we love. We all have journeys and part of that journey is to grow and develop with the blessings of our nearest and dearest knowing we can because of their support and love. Your loved ones become stuck, just as you too are stuck in your grief now.

So, just as in life, you can help your loved one continue their journey when they pass over. Talk to them, tell them you love them and you want them to be all they can be, just exactly the same as you wanted for them in life. You will release them to continue their journey and grow, and through replacing your deep grief with loving support again, you will also start to very slowly move forward with your life’s journey too.

They will not leave you though.. do not think that because you release them you are saying goodbye to them..

Your loved ones will always be around you, just like in life as we grow, we come and go, and if we really want to we can return anytime we like to visit.


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