It’s not where you look but who you are.
by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
You must be that which you desire. There’s no point whatsoever in an unloving man or woman bemoaning their inability to find a partner. They’re doomed to endless frustration because they don’t recognize the perfect match when it appears. That loving person could be right there, right now, and their resistance doesn’t allow them to see it. The unloving person continues to blame bad luck or a series of external factors for their not having a loving relationship.
Love can only be attracted by and returned by love. The best advice I can give for attracting and maintaining spiritual partnerships, is to be what it is that you are seeking. Most relationships that fail to sustain themselves are based on one or both of the partners feeling as if their freedom has been compromised in some way. Spiritual partnerships, on the other hand, are never about making another person feel inferior or ignored in any way. The term spiritual partnership simply means that the energy holding the two of you together is in close harmony with the Source energy of intention.
This means that an allowing philosophy flows through the partnership, and you need never fear that your freedom to fulfill your own inner knowing about your purpose is questioned. It’s as if each person has whispered silently to the other, You are Source energy in a physical body, and the better you feel, the more of this loving, kind, beautiful, receptive, abundant, expanding, and creative energy is flowing through you. I respect this Source energy, and I share it with you as well. When either of us feels downhearted, there’s less of this energy of intention flowing. We must always remember that nothing is disallowed by the universal mind. Whatever is not allowing us to be happy is being disallowed by us. I’m committed to staying in this energy field of intention and watching myself whenever I slip. It’s that very Source that brought us together, and I’ll work to stay in harmony with it.
Mystically speaking, there’s no difference between you and another person. A weird concept, perhaps, but nevertheless valid. This explains why you can’t hurt another person without hurting yourself, nor can you help another person without helping yourself. You share the same Source energy with everyone, and consequently, you must begin to think and act in a way that reflects your awareness of this principle. When you feel the need to have the right person show up, begin to change your inner dialogue to reflect this awareness. Rather than saying, I wish this person would show up because I need to get out of this rut, activate a thought that reflects your connection, such as: I know the right person will be arriving in divine order at precisely the perfect time.
If a friendship or partnership requires the submission of your higher original nature and dignity, it’s simply wrong. When you truly know what it is to love, as you’re loved by your Source, you won’t experience the kind of pain you did in the past when your love was unnoticed or rejected. It will, instead, be similar to how a friend described her experience of choosing to leave a relationship: “My heart was broken, but it felt like it was stuck in the open position. I felt love flowing toward this person who couldn’t love me the way I wanted to be loved, even as I left that relationship to seek the love I felt inside of me. It was strange to feel the pain of my broken heart. And at the same time feel its openness. I kept thinking, My heart’s broken, but it’s broken open. I shifted to an entirely new level of loving and being loved. The relationship I’d dreamed of having manifested 18 months later!”
You are love. You emanated from pure love. You’re connected to this Source of love at all times. Think this way, feel this way, and you’ll soon act this way. And all that you think, feel, and do will be reciprocated in exactly the same fashion. Believe it or not, this principle of the right person showing up has been in place forever. It’s only your ego that’s kept you from seeing it clearly.