Toxic Relationships

Cutting Cords to Toxic Relationships

Bridge Exercise / Infinity Exercise

by Phylameana lila Desy
about.com

Among healers the sharing of energy is referred to as cording. This cord represents life support tubing energetically connecting two individuals together. Babies are born with a cord attaching them to their mothers, this is natural. But there comes a time for a mother to Cut the Apron Strings allowing her child to go out into the world on its own. This is appropriate. If the mother fails to break the cord, the child will eventually attempt to do it. This too is appropriate.

We aren't meant to be sucking up other people's energy. We also don't want to be allowing any psychic vampires sucking up ours.

Identifying Unhealthy Relationships

The world is full of unhealthy relationships. In these relationships, individuals cling to one another allowing cord attachments to occur between them. Seldom is the sharing done equally. Actually if the energy sharing was done equally it would be silly to have the cord in place at all. It is possible to be in a relationship without cording one another, in fact it is preferable. Couples that share one life source ordinarily create a relationship in which one individual becomes weaker, the other stronger. The weakened person feels collapsed because of giving away his/her life source. The stronger person feels great for a time, but his/her appetite may very well increase, craving more and more of the shared energy.

Painful Breakups

There are different types of situations we face in life that are difficult. Ending relationships ranks pretty high up in the "tough stuff" category. It doesn't matter if you were the person who walked away or if someone else left you, a loss is felt either way. It is especially painful if a relationship ends without closure. Unfortunately, often times when people "breakup" what they don't realize is that they may very well still have cords attached. The intact cord keeps an open channel for continuous feeding on each others emotions and anxieties.

Experiencing pain from an estranged relationship or troubled marriage? Try either the bridge visualization or infinity exercise to gently release the cord attachment to free yourself of continued feelings of sadness or separation.

* Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair * Slam the Door on Psychic Vampires * Cutting the Apron Strings

Bridge Visualization

Visualize a walking bridge in your mind. Imagine yourself standing on the far end of this bridge. Now imagine the person you are wanting to cut cords with is standing on the opposite end of the bridge. When you feel ready to energetically connect with the other person begin walking slowly to the middle of the bridge. Allow the other person to walk toward you, meeting you half way. Once you are in eye contact with one another you may begin communicating with an inner dialog. Tell the person what your feelings are. This is not a time to be angry or be holding onto grudges - you are releasing the ties. Tell the person that you are sorry for all of the things you said or did that hurt him/her. Tell him/her that you are forgiving him/her for all the hurtful things that were said or done in your relationship. Say your good-byes, wishing each other well in your separateness. Turn around and walk off the bridge.

Note: It is okay if the other person remains on the bridge as they may not be as ready to be disconnected from you as you are and it may take some adjusting on his/her part to get used to being outside of your energy.

Infinity Exercise

This exercise is done with another person. If the person you wish to break the emotional cords with is willing to participate this is extremely helpful. Otherwise choose someone who is willing to act as a surrogate of the person you wish to cut bonds with.

Two persons face each other while standing 6-8 feet apart from one another. Visualize the infinity sign (number 8 sideways) being traced again and again in a continuous cycle. Each crossing of the infinity sign between you symbolizes severing the cord that is keeping you emotional attached. This exercise can be done silently or with conversations of forgiveness and closure. You may like to visualize the encircling tracings in different colors as you deal with different feelings during this session. Red for releasing passions or feelings of anger, pink or green for calming heartaches, etc. Repeat this exercise until you feel satisfied that separation has occurred.

SaturnsLady

Spring Cleaning Tips For Your Emotions

Spring Cleaning Tips For Your Emotions

by Vivien McKnight
suite101.com

Spring cleaning your house can be a messy job but it has to be done. So, too, with your emotions. There comes a time when you have to visit the nooks and crannies of your mind and see what is lurking there. There may be old hurts and resentments and until you sweep them away they will prevent you from moving forward with your life and getting the best out of all that comes your way. It’s the same with all the old memories that are no longer serving you. Bring them into the light, disinfect them or throw them away. Beating yourself up about past actions needs a touch of bleach. There are few people who enjoy cleaning. We would prefer to be outside enjoying life, but we cannot fully enjoy what life has to offer when we know that there are things inside which need our attention. Feelings and emotions are our energy trigger and if we want to have lots of positive energy we need to have positive feelings and emotions. We need to transform the negatives to positives. See now how you might make spring clean your emotional life.

Anger

You may be angry with someone or with yourself but wherever and whatever the cause of your anger, you are the only person who can deal with it. Feeling angry means that you have handed over power to someone else. Anger management is needed here. The answer lies within . There is a need to identify areas of your life and attitudes that you could change. Get out the mop and wipe away the grime that is anger. Take back the control by analyzing why someone or something has made you angry and see what part you played in it. Be honest.

Resentment

Resentment is very toxic and needs strong anti-bacterial treatment. Sit quietly and think of situations in your life where resentment is hovering. Picture these resentments as large germs which could infect your home and your life. It’s not easy but must be done if you are to feel any kind of emotional peace. Visualize these germs dissolving as you attack them with the cleaner. Resolve to blot out any resentment and refuse to allow it to invade again.

Self esteem

This suffers when you dwell on the bad things. Time to get out the mirror polish and give the mirror of your life a brisk clean. Once you are brave enough to look at yourself and what you are experiencing in your life, the way becomes clear to making the changes that you need to make. When you can’t see in that mirror, drastic cleaning is required. You must move from a confused mind to a focused mind. As the spring cleaning gets under way you can start to move forward fully when you learn to love yourself and see yourself as worthy. Design a mantra to help you see yourself in a more positive way – “I am worthy.”

Blaming

Ask yourself the question “Who or what am I blaming for my present unpleasant feelings?” Was it your old schoolteacher or your parents, an old lover? Whoever you are blaming, you have to take a step back, whisk over with the feather duster and see the reality that you were responsible for the outcomes of things in your life. Identify your part in the outcome of events and resolve to take responsibility for future outcomes.

Justifying

Is there a box under your bed, hidden by dust, where you keep all your excuses? Here you might find all the reasons you have concocted for not living life in the way you would like. Examine them closely.”If I had been taller, I could have been a model and my life would have been better.” Do these justifications need attack with the all-purpose cleaner in order to refresh your thoughts? Are you harboring there the names and memories of people and circumstances that led you to feel cheated, abandoned, abused, frustrated? If you are, empty that box, throw away the thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts and tidy away the box again. Justifying gives you a convenient escape routine from taking action. Without action change cannot happen.

Manage your emotions

You can’t ignore your feelings and if the feelings and emotions are negative you absolutely have to deal with them. Get a strong broom and sweep them ceremoniously out of the door. Changing your negative thoughts and reactions to positive ones activates the Law of Attraction and brings positive people and situations into your newly spruced life. Get in touch with your feelings no

SaturnsLady

Signs From Angels

Signs From Angels
How to Receive Messages from Heaven,
Communicate With an Angel

by Alice Landry
suite101.com

Divine guidance from the angels can come in many forms. In order to receive their gifts, however, you must first ask the angels for their help due to the spiritual law of free will.

As you tune into your senses and allow yourself to notice their signs, you can experience a renewed sense of faith and learn to utilize these light beings in all aspects of your life. Review the following examples of how angels can relay their presence and messages.

Angel Shaped Clouds

Angel cloud sightings have been reported all over the world. Since clouds can easily be molded into any form, angels use this medium to make their presence known and offer comfort, peace, and reassurance of well-being.


Actual wings, angel garb, halos, and faces may be discernable. Colored clouds or orbs that appear on digital pictures of the sky may also indicate angelic phenomenon.

White Feathers from the Angels

Feathers are a common form of communication from your angels. If you have prayed to the angels for guidance or for a sign that everything's going to be okay, be sure to notice feathers, especially white ones. They can appear as tangible objects on the ground or floating from the air.

Moreover, you may notice a random image of a feather, such as on television or on the side of a moving truck. The angels use various means to get your attention and let you know they're here to help.

Pennies from Heaven

People often have a primary symbol associated with angel messages, like rainbows, butterflies, repetitive number sequences, or pennies.


If you seem to attract pennies into your life for no apparent reason, you are probably receiving gifts from heaven. The angels may be offering you consolation or just a reminder to bring you joy. Also observe the dates on the coins as they can have specific meanings.

Musical Signs from the Angels

Clairaudience, or "clear hearing," is another route to receive divine guidance. The angels love to create celestial music, and you may have heard their symphony playing in your head or as an actual audible sound.

In addition, angels can communicate through music by cleverly arranging for a song with words like "angel" or "heaven" in the lyrics or title to play at just the right time you need to hear it.

Angels in Dreams

Dreams have always been an avenue for the subconscious mind or the spiritual realm to communicate with the conscious mind. When you are in a state of deep sleep, your mind is more receptive to divine intervention and communication. If you have a question to ask your guides or angels, write it down in a journal.

Upon awakening, be sure to describe any visions, feelings, or insights you had throughout the night while you were dreaming.

Angels are eager to help you with everyday tasks. They will provide you with messages of their presence and comfort, guide, and protect you on your life's journey. Remember to ask the angels for help and notice these and other signs as gifts from these heavenly beings.

SaturnsLady

25 Ways to Raise Someone’s Energy and Your Own

25 Ways to Raise Someone’s Energy and Your Own

by Neil Legault
unbelievableyou.com

In our society we are so used to the day to day interactions with people who play mind games and try to influence others. Being with others and being genuinely you can be difficult when trying to navigate the world we live in. The competition for attention can be quite draining and often, after a day of continuous contact, you come home and feel completely drained instead of energized.

The 25 traits below represent the ideal way to be with others. Consciously working on these for yourself is the spiritual practice doing onto others as you would have them do onto you. Those who possess these traits are liked by many simply because being this way gives energy to others. It is the practice of being loving, caring, giving and sharing which is all about the flow of energy.

1. Allow others to be just as they are.

2. Give others the space to be and express themselves.

3. Show them your gratitude.

4. Be genuine, honest, open and loving.

5. Show a genuine interest in them.

6. Show them how unique they are.

7. Speak your truth without the need to justify it.

8. Allow others to speak their truth without judging them.

9. Listen. You’re alone when you do all the talking.

10. Don’t gossip about others. Talking highly of others is great but gossip is an energy drainer.

11. Give others the benefit of doubt – Everyone is human. Things are not always what they seem.

12. Give others space when they need it. Everyone needs their own space at times to refocus.

13. Consider their feelings.

14. Allow others to make their own decisions.

15. Allow your encounter to be just as it is without needing it to be different.

16. Be the same person with everyone.

17. Give them energy by sharing your excitement and passion for life.

18. Let them know how they bring something special to your life.

19. Be yourself.

20. Ask others for their honest opinion.

21. Resolve problems together.

22. Spend quality time with them. When you are there, be fully present.

23. Share an experience. Do something that you both have never done before.

24. Be playful, laugh and have fun. Stop being so serious. Being too serious is an energy drainer.

25. And most importantly, Know when to walk away from someone who is draining your energy on purpose. Its one thing to help someone in need and another to be abused by energy suckers. I’m sure you have already met someone who continuously drains you.

Try to feel when others are taking energy from you or giving you energy. Observe how others interact with you and if you look closely enough, you can pinpoint which trait they are not observing within themselves. Some people know and actively like to drain energy from others and most people have no clue because they are not conscious of it. It’s become a subconscious habit. Seeing and changing your subconscious habits allows you to connect with the flow of energy that’s within you. When the energy flows outward, you don’t have the need to get it from somewhere else.



SaturnsLady

Why Empaths Experience Emotional Fatigue

Why Empaths Experience Emotional Fatigue

Helen Akers
suite101.com

Empaths are considered to be those who possess the ability to feel the unspoken emotions of other people, often without conscious intent. Some empaths can also literally feel the symptoms of another person’s physical ailments as though they were their own. As a consequence, empaths can find themselves becoming emotionally overwhelmed and can begin to exhibit symptoms of depression, exhaustion, anxiety, and even chronic fatigue syndrome.

The Characteristics of an Empath

Empaths have a sixth sense when it comes to emotions and the hidden motivations that drive human behavior. Many, if not most, individuals tend to mask their true intentions and inner feelings around others. At times this masquerade can even extend to those that are considered to be close friends and family. Empaths have a keen sense of intuition – a sort of inner compass – that is able to subconsciously read what is really going on beneath another’s expressions.

While the trait of empathy continues to be researched by both the traditional scientific community, as well as by alternative medicine practitioners, the method in which the trait works has yet to be fully uncovered. In fact, many empaths themselves are unsure of how their ability to tune into others happens. Seemingly automatic, empaths often “know,” or at the very least “feel,” without being able to exactly put into complete words a description of the knowledge they have obtained. What does seem to be known is that the trait of empathy is genetic. It is a part of an individual’s DNA that can neither be erased nor abandoned, but something that an individual can become aware of and learn to work with, rather than against.

Emotional Fatigue, Exhaustion, and Signs of Stress

Being an empath opens the door to an enriching, and at times, colorful life experience. However, the tendency to automatically tune into the emotional needs and feelings of others has its flip side. An empath can absorb these energies from either a close proximity or a distance, from those that they physically encounter or from those that they only vicariously become aware of. As individuals with a strong pull towards helping others, empaths often find themselves saddled with negative emotions such as distress, helplessness, anger, despair, and the like.

The absorption of negative energy can result in the physical manifestation of symptoms that are related to exhaustion, fatigue, stress, anxiety, and a sense of emotional overwhelm. Not only does an empath have to process their own emotions, but the natural tendency to take on the emotions of others can leave them wondering which is which. Already sensitive to life’s demands and everyday outside sources of stimulation, empaths can find themselves feeling physically exhausted without explanation.

Physical fatigue results in extreme tiredness that can interfere with the performance of routine tasks. It is typically caused by such factors as inadequate amounts of sleep, underlying chronic health conditions, lack of exercise, obesity, environmental triggers, or medication side effects. Emotional fatigue can result in the same feelings of extreme tiredness that often manifests as a combination of a physical desire to do nothing but sleep and a sort of mental aggravation towards the idea of accomplishing anything task-oriented. Emotional fatigue can be triggered by anxiety, depression, an overextension of one’s self, major life changes or constant stressful environments, such as a toxic workplace.

The Connection between Empathy and Emotional Fatigue

Since empaths take in more than they can sometimes readily process, their threshold for too much stimulation is often lower than those who do not possess the trait. Before they have had the chance to sort out and determine which emotions are theirs and which are not, empaths may continue to be absorbing additional emotional information or experience outside sources of stimulation that can trigger an emotional outburst. Similar to that of a volcanic eruption, the absorbed emotions continue to build up internally until they can no longer simply remain in an unprocessed like state.

Whether or not an empath has developed a coping mechanism for release such as meditation, visualization, or a mild form of dissociation combined with deep breathing techniques, it is their nature to simply feel what others feel – negative or positive. They can even literally take on the physical symptoms of someone else’s illness, but receive no medical explanation for it. As a precaution, it is vital that empaths take the necessary time to privately decompress, process, and eventually release all the energy they have absorbed throughout the day. Learning to set physical and emotional boundaries, while also learning to accept that feelings of physical and mental fatigue are part of being an empath, can help them reestablish a sense of self-defined control and vitality.



SaturnsLady

Getting to the Other Side of Grief

Getting to the Other Side of Grief



Sixteen Helpful Guidelines to Help You Navigate Through Your Grief


by Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.
peggyferguson.com




You may be wondering if it is even possible to survive the loss of someone you love. You may be thinking that you are going crazy, or that you will never quit crying. You may think that you will never be the same and will never feel better.


Grief is one of the most devastating experiences that human beings have and it is universal. Sooner or later, we all experience grief.


When we experience the loss of someone that we love, we often find ourselves at a loss for what to do with ourselves, with our daily lives, and with the grief. Keeping in mind that each person's experience of grief is uniquely their own, below are some tips to assist you in dealing with life on a daily basis and with processing through your grief. Some of the suggestions may seem too painful to try at this time. Try them a little later on. Ask for help from others along the way and remember that it takes as long as it takes.


1. Write about your favorite memory of the person you lost.


2. Pull out some pictures that are not too painful and talk about the event or the time that the picture was taken.


3. Seek out people who have experienced a similar loss and who understand what you are going through.


4. Keep a journal.


5. Read about grieve and loss- to tolerance.


6. Talk about the person.


7. Identify, own, and express your feelings. Fear, anger, guilt, hurt, sad, and abandoned are common.


8. Talk about any anger that you might have toward God or the person who died.


9. Do things to get out of self. Volunteer, garden, or do something for your neighbor.


10. If you are in charge of disposing of their possessions, get some help for going through their stuff. Have someone else present. Take lots of breaks. Cry. Talk about your feelings. Do it to tolerance. Break the task up into manageable pieces.


11. Maintain your social life. Get out and about -- to tolerance again.


12. Go to a grief support group or get some counseling


13. Don't pretend to feel what you don't feel. Be real.


14. When you are hit with another wave of grief when you least expect it, just acknowledge it and feel it. Don't beat yourself up about not being finished with grieving yet. Give yourself credit for making it through each wave.


15. Use this time to nurture yourself.


16. Try to be tolerant of others when they say dumb stuff that is not helpful. They probably mean well. Most people believe that their experience with grief is universal. We tend to perceive that what we learned in our family culture about grief and loss applies to all cultures and the way that our families handled grief is the "correct" way to do it. Another person "instructing" you on how to do it, although sometimes annoying, is probably attempting to assist you through the grief process.




SaturnsLady

The Professor and the Coffee

The Professor and the Coffee


dailykindness.com




A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.


Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some


expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.


When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:


“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.


Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.


What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.


Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.


Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”


God brews the coffee, not the cups………. Enjoy your coffee!


“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”


Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

SaturnsLady